Article: 178506 of talk.bizarre From: firstname.lastname@example.org.TU-Berlin.DE (Jason Reese) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Short flooring Date: 1 Dec 1994 12:43:15 GMT Organization: Technical University Berlin, Germany Lines: 31 Message-ID: <email@example.com.TU-Berlin.DE> X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Status: O My name is Patricia Wildebeest Sancho Panzer. I floor the gas pedal. It first started in my pram. Or so my Mother says. I kicked at the push bar and salivated continually. As a young girl I rode a tricycle and pushed down hard on the pedals. Some would say unusually hard. On my 16th birthday my parents bought me a car. The accelerator pad was worn out in 3 months. The garage mechanic said he'd never seen anything like it. I realized that if I was going to drive anywhere, I'd unconciously feel the need to get dressed up in fish net tights and stillettoes. I forced my first boyfriend to film me driving, and I watch the video on loopback before I go to bed. My relationship ended when I stamped too hard on his neck. And now I'm a shuttle astronaut and have flown twice. But I am unlikely to be picked to go up again soon. I am unable to control my foot pressure on the hydrogen-oxygen pedal. This has caused some problems on re-entry from low earth orbit. I'm telling you this story because I don't want you to be like me. I'm an unhappy individual. I've had counselling but it looks like I won't fly again. Don't be like me. Go easy on the gas pedal; it's good for your mind, a healthy sexuality, and the environment. Thank you for listening.