Article: 178506 of talk.bizarre
From: mere1034@mailszrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Jason Reese)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Short flooring
Date: 1 Dec 1994 12:43:15 GMT
Organization: Technical University Berlin, Germany
Lines: 31
Message-ID: <3bkgd3$a1k@brachio.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE>
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
Status: O

My name is Patricia Wildebeest Sancho Panzer.

I floor the gas pedal.

It first started in my pram.  Or so my Mother says.  I kicked
at the push bar and salivated continually.  As a young girl
I rode a tricycle and pushed down hard on the pedals.  Some
would say unusually hard.  On my 16th birthday my parents bought
me a car.  The accelerator pad was worn out in 3 months.
The garage mechanic said he'd never seen anything like it.

I realized that if I was going to drive anywhere, I'd
unconciously feel the need to get dressed up in fish net tights 
and stillettoes.  I forced my first boyfriend to film me driving, and I
watch the video on loopback before I go to bed.  My relationship ended
when I stamped too hard on his neck.

And now I'm a shuttle astronaut and have flown twice.
But I am unlikely to be picked to go up again soon.  I am unable
to control my foot pressure on the hydrogen-oxygen pedal.  This has 
caused some problems on re-entry from low earth orbit.

I'm telling you this story because I don't want you to be like
me.  I'm an unhappy individual.  I've had counselling but it looks
like I won't fly again.  Don't be like me.  Go easy on the gas pedal;
it's good for your mind, a healthy sexuality, and the environment.

Thank you for listening.