Article: 178616 of talk.bizarre
From: saint@ctron.com (The Saint)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: You're Not In Love Anymore
Date: 1 Dec 1994 18:36:44 GMT
Organization: The University of Christ My Head's On Fire!
Lines: 59
Sender: The Saint
Message-ID: <3bl53sINNs17@dur-news.ctron.com>
Reply-To: saint@ctron.com (The Saint)
Status: O

When you wish Darth Vader would leap out of the television and
slash her jugular with his last erg of SuperVolt energy; you're
not in love anymore.

When the local evening news reports a 17-car pile-up and an
unconfirmed number of fatalities, and all you can think of is
your wish that she took that route home tonight; you're not
in love anymore.

When her daughter asks why the footbal players on television
wear all that plastic padding, and she says "So they don't
get killed," and you consider giving the child a live 
demonstration of the consequences of an unpadded fourth
and goal; you're not in love anymore.

When you deliberately avoid the kitchen utensils aisle at
the local Shop & Save because of the Medusian call of the
"Jiffy Brand Bakeware Cutlery Set,"; you're not in love anymore.

When you convince yourself, "Hey, this couch isn't *that*
uncomfortable."; you're not in love anymore.

When you actually hear the words "Why can't you be more like
my last girlfriend!?" escape your lips; you're not in love anymore.

When the prospect of a royal butt-chewing by your boss is
favorable to sleeping in late; you're not in love anymore.

When you can feign more interest in "High School Championship
Jeopardy" than you can in her laments of chest pains; you're 
not in love anymore.

When you yell "I'M IN HERE!" when she begins entering
the bathroom at 6 a.m.; you're not in love anymore.

When you regret that your german shepard seems to have forgotten
the "Kill" command; you're not in love anymore.

When the "C" word just isn't strong enough; you're not
in love anymore.

When you get disgusted because the god-damned Grinch *always*
becomes "good-hearted" at the end, and you wish, just once,
that he'd torch every last frigging Who; you're not in love
anymore.


"Merry Christmas" my goat-smellin' butt! Santa had damn well better
lay in an overstock of Seagrams this year!

     _]_[_                                                      _]_[_
    (_____)____________________________________________________(_____)
     |  /|                                                      |  /|
     |  /|  The Saint        "I'll see your two sh*ts and raise |  /|
     |  /|  saint@ctron.com   you a flying f*ck."		|  /|
     |___|______________________________________________________|___|
    (_____)                                                    (_____)
      ] [                                                        ] [