Article: 178903 of talk.bizarre
From: (Jonathan K. Cohen)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Season's Greetings from Bijutsu Shuppan Sha
Date: Thu, 01 Dec 1994 21:36:32 -0800
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Lines: 39
Message-ID: <>
Status: O

Today, in my unofficial capacity as fifth wheel, I visited the warehouse
of Books Nippan. Books Nippan is an importer of Japanese language texts,
manga, anime, and, most important for our narrative, lavish art books.

While browsing in BN's unheated stacks, careful to dodge
the ceiling-mounted dunnage dispenser, I came across Yet Another Glossy
Japanese Art Book. It was perfectly ordinary fare -- airbrushed nipples
and robot suits on heavy clay-composition paper, covers secured with paper
band, yellow stock ticket stuck in the center of one signature. Yawn.
Until the ticket fell out, the book opened, and I saw the page that the
ticket had marked. The value of the whole trip, at that moment, increased
by about 1,000 percent.

The image on the page, you ask?

A crucified Santa Claus.

On the cross.

Blood from the nails and the crown of thorns, staining the white fur ruffs
on the cap and sleeves. 

Eyes which lacked that jolly twinkle. 
(Eyes which seemed to be saying, "Mein Gott! Warum hast Du mich

And, to cap it all off, at the base of the cross, a crowd of mute,
staring, adoring reindeer.

He rises on New Year's Day. 


Carols by request; contributions solicited.

Jonathan K. Cohen, Internet Projects, UCI Bookstore, Irvine, CA 92717
email:; book orders:; tel:(714)UCI-3164
UCI Bookstore World Wide Web site: