Article: 261231 of talk.bizarre
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: (Lisa Chabot)
Subject: Old News
Message-ID: <>
Summary: hot air
Keywords: boom!
Organization: VMl
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 1995 22:12:17 GMT
Lines: 46

(If I've posted this before, well, shoot me.)


(TBPI, Newt Hampster)

   In a surprise press release today, Dirigible
Corporation announced that it is selling off its computer
business to General General, Inc.,  divesting itself of 
both hardware and software product lines simultaneously.

"It's an idea whose time has come," said Dirigible spokesthing
Hoost Fanfold.  "Now we will have more time and money to 
concentrate on our main business: laying off the rest of 
New England."

Dirigible, which had been in the computer industry for more
than 32 bits, once was home to many a wayward reprogeek, but
for the past several years it has spawned a local growth in 
placement service bureaus.  More recently, however, it has hired 
a gaggle of spokesthings for its campaign of denying that the 
spread of WinDohs95 has influenced the decision to run for the 
hills.  "The computer business is actually shrinking!" shrieked 
Fanfold.  "We're all doomed!"

General General was formed last year from the collision of
General Digidatatronics, itself once a spawn of Dirigible and
exposed in the religious bestseller, "The Shoes of the Knitting 
Machine", and General Eccentric Motors, which featured for many 
years in perennial rumors that it would itself buy all of 
Dirigible Corp.  "We're very pleased with the price," said 
Hilfbooter "Hilfy" Hilfbooter, General General CEC. 

Dirigible will retain its small business of laying off people
in Taiwan, but other details of the memorandum of wimping-out
(MEOW) have not been released due to mutual embarassment
of the parties involved.

.                         (Ob. attr.: Bill Short for "Digidatatronics")
                        "Everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!"  (Mallrats)