Article: 261578 of talk.bizarre
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: too much television as well
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Dostoyevskian Characters, plc
Date: Fri, 1 Dec 1995 00:24:22 GMT
Lines: 35

[An elderly couple, upper-middle class: MAN is seventy-ish, white-haired,
hale-looking; WOMAN is a little younger, bluish rinse, well-preserved but
almost as if in formaldehyde.  They wear clothes suitable for, say, golfing
at a public course in mild weather, and sit in patio chairs on either side
of a low table, a backyard slightly out-of-focus in the background.  On
the table are two tallish glasses nearly full of viscous pink stuff,
flanking two cans of The Product.]
WOMAN [trying to look at the camera but also at MAN, so that she seems to
be staring into space]: Over forty years ago we promised to take care of
 each other.
MAN [turning to face WOMAN; jolly]: Ye-es.  We've always made sure both
 of us were eating right, getting enough sleep and exercise...
WOMAN [her smile a _memento mori_]: Well, now we're getting older, and
 though we still look okay, we're practically halfwits.
MAN [similar ghastly grin]: Yes, we aren't really that far from being
 comatose.  And that's why we drink "Unsure!"  [The camera zooms in a
 little to draw attention to the cans on the table as the MAN picks up
 his glass.]
WOMAN: "Unsure" isn't a nutritional supplement.  It's complete nutrition
 in a can.  You don't need to eat anything!  It's a delicious drink,
[MAN takes a generous sip from his glass and with apparent effort keeps
a contented look on his face as he tastes the stuff and swallows it]
 the same "Unsure" put down the feeding tubes of patients in all the
 best hospitals.
MAN [still holding the glass and smiling]:  Yes, we figure that two old
 farts like us are so far gone that we might as well get our nourishment
 from the same stuff they give to people who can't even swallow.
WOMAN: And "Unsure" saves us the trouble of cooking, too.
MAN: "Unsure!"  [Lifts his glass a little higher; WOMAN picks hers up]
 To your ill-health, dear.
WOMAN [horrid grin]: No, to *our* ill-health!
[They drink as the camera zooms in and focuses on the cans.]

Mark., nothing for FTS Day