Article: 261578 of talk.bizarre Newsgroups: talk.bizarre From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) Subject: too much television as well Message-ID: <gooleyDIvt4n.6G9@netcom.com> Organization: Dostoyevskian Characters, plc Date: Fri, 1 Dec 1995 00:24:22 GMT Lines: 35 Sender: gooley@netcom18.netcom.com [An elderly couple, upper-middle class: MAN is seventy-ish, white-haired, hale-looking; WOMAN is a little younger, bluish rinse, well-preserved but almost as if in formaldehyde. They wear clothes suitable for, say, golfing at a public course in mild weather, and sit in patio chairs on either side of a low table, a backyard slightly out-of-focus in the background. On the table are two tallish glasses nearly full of viscous pink stuff, flanking two cans of The Product.] WOMAN [trying to look at the camera but also at MAN, so that she seems to be staring into space]: Over forty years ago we promised to take care of each other. MAN [turning to face WOMAN; jolly]: Ye-es. We've always made sure both of us were eating right, getting enough sleep and exercise... WOMAN [her smile a _memento mori_]: Well, now we're getting older, and though we still look okay, we're practically halfwits. MAN [similar ghastly grin]: Yes, we aren't really that far from being comatose. And that's why we drink "Unsure!" [The camera zooms in a little to draw attention to the cans on the table as the MAN picks up his glass.] WOMAN: "Unsure" isn't a nutritional supplement. It's complete nutrition in a can. You don't need to eat anything! It's a delicious drink, [MAN takes a generous sip from his glass and with apparent effort keeps a contented look on his face as he tastes the stuff and swallows it] the same "Unsure" put down the feeding tubes of patients in all the best hospitals. MAN [still holding the glass and smiling]: Yes, we figure that two old farts like us are so far gone that we might as well get our nourishment from the same stuff they give to people who can't even swallow. WOMAN: And "Unsure" saves us the trouble of cooking, too. MAN: "Unsure!" [Lifts his glass a little higher; WOMAN picks hers up] To your ill-health, dear. WOMAN [horrid grin]: No, to *our* ill-health! [They drink as the camera zooms in and focuses on the cans.] Mark., nothing for FTS Day gooley@netcom.com