Article: 261303 of talk.bizarre From: Scott Ellis <qbt736@freenet.mb.ca> Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Information Economy (repost by request) Date: Fri, 1 Dec 1995 00:53:15 -0600 Organization: Blue Sky FreeNet of Manitoba Inc. Lines: 30 Message-ID: <Pine.SUN.3.91.951201000937.2398A-100000@winnie.freenet.mb.ca> Status: O X-Status: i started out as a freelance ontologist my clients were usually ministers insurance adjustors & shiftworkers with metaphysical doubts i swung a leveraged buyout of a chain of virtual reality therapy centres i was raking it in till ms pacman's bulimia self-help group launched a class-action suit i diversified into computer prophesy sacrificing pedigreed herds of angus & charolais reading their pricy entrails averaging out the results into pie & bar graphs i was cleaning up until the omengate scandal when all my military & stockbroker clients got busted by that time pychoproctology was where the action was till the great surgical glove drought wiped out all the pile shrinks i sold holographic porno on the 2-dimensional market until my files were raided by the fbi & disney now beauty & the beast are pulling 3 to 5 i made a killing as a graphology consultant teaching deadbeats to sign their names with drive reliability & seizable assets my grads wrote their own tickets some of them signed their way into politics you don't want to know i'm doing quantum political spin control i'm the guy who keeps the quarks in the bag & the ins in office i make antimatter & soundbites for dimwits it's ok but lately my broker's on a bungee cord i can't get my foot out of my gui my resume glows green my secretary is maxwell's demon my cpa's a black hole i can't find my homepage my portaphone smokes crack my vcr's on a vision quest my modem wants a sex change instant tellers sing me karaoke my frequent flier points won't get me back from uranus my beemer only runs in tornado alley my children keep receipts my clients all pack sickles i can't keep my hands off my fax machine & i hear my ex has a virus hunting program somewhere out there looking for me... ------ sae - Look under the surface, and, if you're really lucky, there's more surface. (Richard Avedon)