Article: 261308 of talk.bizarre From: email@example.com (Kate McDonnell) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: [repost] animal alphabet, unfinished Date: Fri, 01 Dec 1995 01:47:56 -0700 Organization: les graphiques Grenade Lines: 167 Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Status: O X-Status: I started this effort with this: The Auk, a bird of simple passions, Lived out its life on the icy waste But, due to changing Arctic fashions, Vanished in unaccustomed haste. and after that it was The Blue Whale is the biggest, deepest. Which makes us humans pause a mo' And think: despite our crinkled craniums They rule where we will never go. --Zvi -- The Boar, a squat and chunky fellow Roots for tubers 'mongst the brush His angry mien and tusks so yellow Lesser skittish creatures flush. --Jeff ***>email@example.com -- The Chimpanzee seems nearly human It somersaults, it does a split It grins at people through the bars, and accurately throws its shit. doc -- The Deer prances through the woods Its antlers thorns from heaven Until it's shred to bits by an AK-47. 5150 -- The Elephant is long of tusk And large of weight, so eas'ly could Gore and crush and do great damage To the whinging L.H. Wood. --Mark Pundurs firstname.lastname@example.org -- The Fox is clever; loafing underground, His narrow face, devoid of jowls Grins from his den, as (see 'H') Hound, Bewildered, crashes about and howls. -doc and it don't matter if you put a few extra syllables into a line -- Garuda-bird arrayed in splendor The Himalaya spans with ease, Stooping to nosh on morsels tender That try to hide beneath the trees. --kate -- Sing ho! for the Hedgehog spiny-backed, Inspiration to us all: Who impales his predator when attacked By rolling into a ball. --jeff carroll -- The Ibex is an antelope, and so is the Impala. Ain't none of either, there's no hope, 'tween here and Walla Walla. --jeff carroll -- The Kite's not Kosher, for, you see, It chews its cud and has no fins, Its foot is cloven into three. (That's how Leviticus begins.) --kate -- In Minnesota cries the Loon, (where Lutefisk's a favorite dish) Plaintively as a Keillor tune: "That's a helluva thing to do to fish." --jeff carroll -- The Millipede has many legs, Many, many, many legs, It's not distinguished by much else... um... (Let's leave and eat some ham and eggs.) --Zvi -- Had I but a single horn, I think I would a Narwhal be, rather than a Unicorn - 'Cause Unicorns are so tacky. (And Unicorns can't go to sea.) --jeff carroll -- The Nebelwerfer comes to me Heralded by grind and clank, No, it's not sitting in a tree Instead it's bolted to a tank. ljd just be glad I didn't say "Naheverteidigungswaffe" -- The Octopus: an arm, an arm, an arm, an arm, four more, a head. But if you study Greek, you'll find those "arms" are really "feet" instead. --eric scheirer -- "Related to the ass and zebra, An equine quadruped" (op.cit.), The quagga's courage might just be bra- vado, and he looks a twit. --kate and after all that I find quahog and quail, cheek by jowl so to speak. -- some gaps, some duplicates. can we finish it? do we want to? -- email@example.com http://www.vir.com/~kate/home.html the guardians of hell, having bought you, will cook you there in jars.