Article: 261455 of talk.bizarre
From: (Morrisa Sherman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Tea
Date: 1 Dec 1995 10:30:05 -0800
Organization: Best Internet Communications
Lines: 60
Message-ID: <49nhjd$>
Status: O

Charlotte:  Oh, delightful!

Reynard:    What is it?

Charlotte:  My mother has sent us a selection of teas from
            far-off Ceylon!  And just in time for the holidays!

Reynard:    There's no such place as Ceylon.

Charlotte:  That sort of triviality never bothers my mother.  I'm
            going to try some right away, with biscuits and 
            strawberries.  Which kind shall I brew?

Reynard:    It's up to you.  I decline.

Charlotte:  You decline tea from Ceylon?  But why?

Reynard:    Tea is for sissies.

Charlotte:  Well, yes, my sisters all adore tea, but I'm sure
            Mother sent them their own assortments.  She is
            most egalitarian, don't you know.  We needn't save
            it for them.

Reynard:    Not sisters, sissies!  Fancypants!  Dandies!  WIMPS!

Charlotte:  There's no need for invective.

Reynard:    Oh, no no no, I did not mean you!

Charlotte:  But I like tea.  I am unabashedly fond of tea.  Am I
            not a sissy, a fancypants, a, a WIMP?

Reynard:    No, no, you're a woman!

Charlotte:  I fail to see the correlative.

Reynard:    It's okay for a woman to drink womanly things, that's
            feminine and endearing.  But if a man drinks womanly
            things, he's a sissy.  Men should drink macho, manly
            things like coffee!  Good, roasted, black coffee,
            black as the torments of a mans soul which he bears
            stoically, black as the grim triumph of war!

Charlotte:  Ah.  And so which of your manly friends tells you this?

Reynard:    Douglas!  Now HE is a real man! He skydives and has
            a four wheel drive and everything, and he drinks COFFEE!

Charlotte:  Doesn't Douglas' lover Craig own the coffee shop down
            the street?  Of course Douglas wants you to drink coffee!
            It would be good for business!

Reynard:    Oh, I, um, that is, well...

Charlotte:  Have a strawberry.  So what do you think, Green, Oolong,

Reynard:    Um, did she send any of that lovely Fragrant Jasmine 
            Petal by any chance?