Article: 261455 of talk.bizarre From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Morrisa Sherman) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Tea Date: 1 Dec 1995 10:30:05 -0800 Organization: Best Internet Communications Lines: 60 Message-ID: <email@example.com> Status: O X-Status: Charlotte: Oh, delightful! Reynard: What is it? Charlotte: My mother has sent us a selection of teas from far-off Ceylon! And just in time for the holidays! Reynard: There's no such place as Ceylon. Charlotte: That sort of triviality never bothers my mother. I'm going to try some right away, with biscuits and strawberries. Which kind shall I brew? Reynard: It's up to you. I decline. Charlotte: You decline tea from Ceylon? But why? Reynard: Tea is for sissies. Charlotte: Well, yes, my sisters all adore tea, but I'm sure Mother sent them their own assortments. She is most egalitarian, don't you know. We needn't save it for them. Reynard: Not sisters, sissies! Fancypants! Dandies! WIMPS! Charlotte: There's no need for invective. Reynard: Oh, no no no, I did not mean you! Charlotte: But I like tea. I am unabashedly fond of tea. Am I not a sissy, a fancypants, a, a WIMP? Reynard: No, no, you're a woman! Charlotte: I fail to see the correlative. Reynard: It's okay for a woman to drink womanly things, that's feminine and endearing. But if a man drinks womanly things, he's a sissy. Men should drink macho, manly things like coffee! Good, roasted, black coffee, black as the torments of a mans soul which he bears stoically, black as the grim triumph of war! Charlotte: Ah. And so which of your manly friends tells you this? Reynard: Douglas! Now HE is a real man! He skydives and has a four wheel drive and everything, and he drinks COFFEE! Charlotte: Doesn't Douglas' lover Craig own the coffee shop down the street? Of course Douglas wants you to drink coffee! It would be good for business! Reynard: Oh, I, um, that is, well... Charlotte: Have a strawberry. So what do you think, Green, Oolong, Black? Reynard: Um, did she send any of that lovely Fragrant Jasmine Petal by any chance?