Article: 261412 of talk.bizarre
From: (woggles)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Wog and the Cleaver
Date: 1 Dec 1995 11:59:45 -0800
Organization: Best Internet Communications, Inc. - Mountain View, CA - (415) 964-BEST
Lines: 66
Message-ID: <49nmrh$>
Status: O

The Wog and the Cleaver

Opening the door with a clatter
the Wog had arrived
he breathed deeply the barbeque fumes
and jumped at the heartless BANG
as the cleaver slammed through meat and bone
sticking just a little
in the soft wet wood

Shaken and daunted
the Wog carefully detached himself from the ceiling
one claw at a time
and crashed to the floor
a bundle of limbs and swollen nose
as the cleaver swung again
souless in its strength

Musical tingles
reminiscent of tin foil on a cat's paw
crackled through the Wog's spine
threatening to turn it to dust
Each swing of the cleaver
snatching him to another spiral of panic
Perfect capable rhythm without passion

A ball of sick
choked the Wog
high in his throat
at a sudden jolt in the rhythm
the reliable cleaver
missed its mark
and crackled the bone
making it whine and cry
as the cleaver twisted free
to slam again
spraying the Wog with splinters

He screamed horribly
as the splinters forced the ball from his throat
throttling the cleaver
with goo and revulsion
Infuriated, the cleaver spun from its task
dripping in gooey passion
as it flung at the Wog

Twinkling silver
his hand flashed up
and enslaved the enraged cleaver
roping its new passion around its throat

Whistling a clever tune
the Wog meandered from the shop
the door clattering from its hinges
and wobbling on the stoop
as the dutiful cleaver
sauntered behind him on an invisible leash
bound for adventure

The bigger the Net gets, the smaller the fish it catches ...
     -- R. E. Childs