Article: 261439 of talk.bizarre
From: M. L. Grant <>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Childhood is (in chronological order)
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Date: 2 Dec 1995 01:32:49 GMT
Organization: The Mount Cuba Observatory
Lines: 60
Message-ID: <49oac1$>
Originator: grant@Linux
Status: O

Childhood is (in chronological order)

Or, "god I hate people who say that childhood is golden, and
I hope I never forget that it wasn't"


Always having the second-smallest body.

Never winning a footrace and never being able to end a hide-and-
seek game.

Always having the second-highest grades.

Whimpering to a stuffed bear, "*You'd* listen to my side, wouldn't

Hearing the parents argue about whether the girls really do need
new underwear every year.

Your mother telling you to repeat and learn the Hail Mary while
she's driving you across a bridge.

Hearing, "Stop being a baby.  You just sprained your ankle."[1]


Finishing all the books in the house, and not being driven to the
library because Mom is afraid to drive out of the neighborhood.

Not being placed in Fast Math because Mom and Dad don't want to
drive the hour and a half to Baltimore for the placement test.

Not learning to shut up among peers in a new school until about
five years after moving there.

Hearing, "You can't go to Bible study tonight.  Mr.  Smith was taken
away last night by the Nazis."

Hearing, "We spun out and jumped the barrier.  Mommy saw snakes
all over the road."

Dreading asking for money.

Discovering that a dinner plate looks like an Impressionist painting
if you have enough tears in your eyes.

Hearing, "You can't go the Latin Club meeting.  I'm worried that there
will be controlled substances there."

Not learing that math and science aren't hard until age sixteen.

[1]Yes, the leg was broken

"I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you.  Yes, hate is good
 . . our goal is a Christian nation.  We have a biblical duty, we are
called on by God to conquer this country.  We don't want equal time.
We don't want pluralism."  -- Randall Terry, head of Operation Rescue