Article: 261457 of talk.bizarre
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: (Scott Dorsey)
Subject: What I did on Fail to Suck Day
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Institute for Boatanchor Studies
Date: Sat, 2 Dec 1995 01:42:26 GMT
Lines: 71
Status: O

 6:00  Alarm goes off
 6:10  Remove cat and leave bed
 6:14  Brush teeth and hair
 6:30  High colonic
 6:40  Put on clothes and feed cat
 6:45  Drive to work
 7:25  Arrive at work
 7:30  High colonic
 7:40  Read morning e-mail and check
 8:10  Check specifications on branch computer support plan
 8:16  Morning cup of tea
 8:30  High colonic
 8:40  Answer questions about license management
 8:55  Scan in and alter image of experimental aircraft
 9:20  Call vendor about correct rack rails
 9:30  High colonic
 9:40  Sit down and read t.b. postings, some of which really suck
10:00  Send mail to everyone whose posting sucks, including crossposters
10:20  Read some more postings that suck
10:30  High colonic
10:40  Read more news, determine the overall s/n to be improved considerably
10:50  Read more news, decide it isn't improved enough
11:20  Go back to reading work-related newsgroups
11:25  Wonder about the feasibility of moderation of t.b.
11:30  High colonic
11:40  Check for errors in common blocks of bad FORTRAN code
11:50  Find bug in optimizer in SGI F77 compiler
11:55  Turn off optimization and get valid executable
12:00  Leave office to go to lunch at Chawee's Thai Restaurant
12:14  Order pot krapau (with real holy basil)
12:30  High colonic
12:40  Buy extra bulbs of garlic for dinner
 1:00  Return to my office
 1:30  High colonic
 1:40  Write flight data onto CD-R
 1:47  Fight with user about CD-R format
 2:20  Start CD-R drive, leave unattended.
 2:30  High colonic
 2:40  Consider rebuild of Volkswagen engine for Josh Geller
 2:50  Inspect 8" Seagate disk drives for controller faults
 3:00  Daily read of system security logs
 3:25  Shut down CD-R drive and return disk to user
 3:30  High colonic
 3:40  Log out on all systems.  Check power supplies and M-G sets.
 3:45  Leave my office in time to avoid traffic on rt. 64
 4:25  Arrive at home
 4:30  High colonic
 4:40  Boil water for tea
 4:45  Determine my kitchen to be infested with small black bugs
 4:50  Determine, with the use of the Audubon key, these to be from Thailand
 5:00  Locate source of transportation (chuka soba noodles) and discard
 5:05  Have a nice cup of tea
 5:10  Read afternoon physical mail
 5:30  High colonic
 5:40  Listen to Mendelssohn Violin Concerto in preparation for editing
 6:30  High colonic
 6:40  Check and clean Ampex 440 tape deck
 7:00  Feed cats again
 7:10  Listen to cats yowling at other cat outside and scare it away
 7:30  High colonic
 7:40  Read t.b and did not find it amusing
 8:00  Wrote obscene e-mail to suspicious friends
 8:10  Post some stuff that sucks
 8:30  High colonic
 8:40  Read some Russian science fiction from the sixties
 9:30  High colonic
 9:40  Drink cup of tea
10:00  Go to sleep
"C'est un Nagra.  C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."