Article: 261457 of talk.bizarre Newsgroups: talk.bizarre From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Scott Dorsey) Subject: What I did on Fail to Suck Day Message-ID: <kludgeDIxrEr.BvF@netcom.com> Organization: Institute for Boatanchor Studies Date: Sat, 2 Dec 1995 01:42:26 GMT Lines: 71 Sender: email@example.com Status: O X-Status: 6:00 Alarm goes off 6:10 Remove cat and leave bed 6:14 Brush teeth and hair 6:30 High colonic 6:40 Put on clothes and feed cat 6:45 Drive to work 7:25 Arrive at work 7:30 High colonic 7:40 Read morning e-mail and check rec.audio.pro 8:10 Check specifications on branch computer support plan 8:16 Morning cup of tea 8:30 High colonic 8:40 Answer questions about license management 8:55 Scan in and alter image of experimental aircraft 9:20 Call vendor about correct rack rails 9:30 High colonic 9:40 Sit down and read t.b. postings, some of which really suck 10:00 Send mail to everyone whose posting sucks, including crossposters 10:20 Read some more postings that suck 10:30 High colonic 10:40 Read more news, determine the overall s/n to be improved considerably 10:50 Read more news, decide it isn't improved enough 11:20 Go back to reading work-related newsgroups 11:25 Wonder about the feasibility of moderation of t.b. 11:30 High colonic 11:40 Check for errors in common blocks of bad FORTRAN code 11:50 Find bug in optimizer in SGI F77 compiler 11:55 Turn off optimization and get valid executable 12:00 Leave office to go to lunch at Chawee's Thai Restaurant 12:14 Order pot krapau (with real holy basil) 12:30 High colonic 12:40 Buy extra bulbs of garlic for dinner 1:00 Return to my office 1:30 High colonic 1:40 Write flight data onto CD-R 1:47 Fight with user about CD-R format 2:20 Start CD-R drive, leave unattended. 2:30 High colonic 2:40 Consider rebuild of Volkswagen engine for Josh Geller 2:50 Inspect 8" Seagate disk drives for controller faults 3:00 Daily read of system security logs 3:25 Shut down CD-R drive and return disk to user 3:30 High colonic 3:40 Log out on all systems. Check power supplies and M-G sets. 3:45 Leave my office in time to avoid traffic on rt. 64 4:25 Arrive at home 4:30 High colonic 4:40 Boil water for tea 4:45 Determine my kitchen to be infested with small black bugs 4:50 Determine, with the use of the Audubon key, these to be from Thailand 5:00 Locate source of transportation (chuka soba noodles) and discard 5:05 Have a nice cup of tea 5:10 Read afternoon physical mail 5:30 High colonic 5:40 Listen to Mendelssohn Violin Concerto in preparation for editing 6:30 High colonic 6:40 Check and clean Ampex 440 tape deck 7:00 Feed cats again 7:10 Listen to cats yowling at other cat outside and scare it away 7:30 High colonic 7:40 Read t.b and did not find it amusing 8:00 Wrote obscene e-mail to suspicious friends 8:10 Post some stuff that sucks 8:30 High colonic 8:40 Read some Russian science fiction from the sixties 9:30 High colonic 9:40 Drink cup of tea 10:00 Go to sleep -- "C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."