Article: 261615 of talk.bizarre From: jfw@jfwhome.funhouse.com (John F. Woods) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: REPOST: X Industries Voice Mail Date: 1 Dec 1995 22:29:09 -0500 Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us Lines: 23 Message-ID: <49oh65$577@jfwhome.funhouse.com> Status: O X-Status: > Where I work everyone makes their own coffee. > Phone calls are controlled by voice mail. Rick, your typing is terrible. You meant to have said "Phone calls are incinerated by voice mail." Of course, the new X Industries Voice Mail(TM) system is much better. You record a short message, then your head is surgically separated from your body, preserved with formaldehyde, and attached to pneumatic instruments and electro-stimulators. This, and a small control unit, is sent Priority Mail to your intended recipient, and (upon unpacking) repeats your message using *your own voice*. Not only does the X Industries Voice Mail(TM) system *guarantee* that your message gets attention like no other system, it also gives your recipient a charming keepsake to remember you by. X Industries Working hard to sever you better -- New and Improved Web Page: http://www.funhouse.com/~jfw/