Article: 261615 of talk.bizarre
From: (John F. Woods)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: REPOST: X Industries Voice Mail
Date: 1 Dec 1995 22:29:09 -0500
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Lines: 23
Message-ID: <49oh65$>
Status: O

> Where I work everyone makes their own coffee.
> Phone calls are controlled by voice mail.

Rick, your typing is terrible.  You meant to have said "Phone calls are
incinerated by voice mail."

Of course, the new X Industries Voice Mail(TM) system is much better.
You record a short message, then your head is surgically separated from
your body, preserved with formaldehyde, and attached to pneumatic instruments
and electro-stimulators.  This, and a small control unit, is sent 
Priority Mail to your intended recipient, and (upon unpacking) repeats
your message using *your own voice*.  Not only does the X Industries
Voice Mail(TM) system *guarantee* that your message gets attention like
no other system, it also gives your recipient a charming keepsake to
remember you by.

                           X Industries

                           Working hard

                         to sever you better
New and Improved Web Page: