Article: 262037 of talk.bizarre
From: soviet@opus.freenet.vancouver.bc.ca (jess templeton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Laughing Cows: The truth
Date: 7 Dec 1995 03:18:26 GMT
Organization: Vancouver Regional FreeNet
Lines: 22
Message-ID: <4a5me2$cvr@milo.freenet.vancouver.bc.ca>
Status: O
X-Status: 

This is December. It is cold outside (at least where I live). I live in 
the city, but every so often I visit the countryside. And, fellow zygote 
slaves, guess what I see out there in the bucolic barrens? Cows! Don't 
laugh, I know there are plenty of cows in the country. But these ones are 
LAUGHING! Whom at, you may query. ME! Yes, at me. Why? I don't know. What 
did I ever do to offend them? Perhaps they haven't forgotten the years I 
spent eating hamburgers? But I haven't had one in years! When will they 
forgive! What is this mad vendetta of mocking they insist on pursuing? 
Oh, sure, the wiser amongst you might suggest heavy duty devil worship, 
but I've met the Devil, and let me tell you, sister, he ain't nothin' but 
a tired old man. Lord of the Flies, indeed! Satan has nothing for me. And 
God took a permanent retirement millennia ago. So who shall I rely on in 
my time of need? I know! Mr. Herbert Khaury, known to the world since 
1960 as Tiny Tim! Yes! I shall play my Tiny Tim records over and over 
until they are defeated, these mad cows. I've seen their little cow 
brains. Plastic and metal! Yes, the industry years ago perfected a strain 
of cyborg cow. Prepare to be overcome by doom! DOOM, I say, DOOM!!! 
   Don't say I didn't warn you.

===Floyd Soviet===
{your friend and his}