Article: 261883 of talk.bizarre
From: Scott Ellis <>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: TBPI 321-340
Date: Tue, 5 Dec 1995 16:57:20 -0600
Organization: Blue Sky FreeNet of Manitoba Inc.
Lines: 54
Message-ID: <>

321.	Call me a romantic, but I don't do electrodes on the first date.

322.	After eating out, I shred the receipt, the copy, my card, the 
	menu and my waiter for the evening (Randy).

323.	When I met Steven Hawking we were both awestruck, except for him.

324.	It's hard to buy life insurance when you keep inquiring about  
	"flesh-eating virus" clauses.

325.	My Dad and get along much better since I had him bronzed.

326.	Michael Jackson's surgical discards are the Dark Matter  
	astrophysicists are looking for.

327.	I gave up on my pyramid scheme when I found myself embalmed in a 
	bronze sarcophagus. 

328.	I'd get deloused, but I've got so few friends as it is.

329.	A tune that's been driving me crazy: "Who put the amp in the 

330.	IT'S TRUE - deprogramming telemarketers *IS* a growth industry!

331.	Is it just me, or are there an awful lot of neutrinos in here?

332.	Figuring in continental drift, my East Coast properties ought to 
	pay off big any day now.

333.	Any more fun and I'll have a metabolism.

334.	I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggone it, I've got 
	enough gelignite to level Milwaukee.

335.	My girlfriend doesn't worry about condom breakage since I 
	switched from standards to radials.

336.	It's what people are made of that counts, which is why I have a 
	really powerful centrifuge.

337.	I occasionally commit a faux pas through misapplication of the 
	Electroweak Force.

338.	I am not reassured when my bank manager insists on giving me noogies.

339.	I always have my milkshakes with extra barium.

340.	I don't mind going out with a Tae Kwon Doh black belt, but why 
	must we always play "footsie"?

sae - The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible.  What 
      the second duty is, no one has yet determined.  (Oscar Wilde)