Article: 288661 of talk.bizarre From: Matthew Marchese <matt@cray.com> Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Buddha Bing, Buddha Bang Date: Sun, 01 Dec 1996 13:06:48 -0600 Organization: Arbeit Macht Muede Lines: 54 Message-ID: <32A1D747.68C8@cray.com> X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.01 (Win95; U) The Road to Nirvana* We're off on the road to Nirvana That Kundalini was tough on our spines (hit me with a snake-bite kit, Dad) What's my Dharma, where's your Dharma? We're lookin' high and low Lay you eight-to-five we'll meet the Buddha on the road Off on the road to Nirvana Non-existence's at the end of the line (turn that wheel, yeah!) I hear this great road's got no gate, it leaps out from our heads We'd tell you more but we won't know it when we're good and dead You won't find us sitting around Like Dogen's koans we're Nirvana-bound We're off on the road to Nirvana Look out, clear the way, 'cause here we come The monks sit Zazen, write some haikus, hit themselves with sticks It seems to me that there should be easier ways to get our kicks (should I slip on my big sandals now?) Off on the road to Nirvana Mu! swing a stick, everybody duck (Hey, I think that last whack detached my self!) We may run into Preta but we're not about to whine Because we've read the Sutras, now we've both got bouyant minds You won't find us moping around Like Bassho's haiku we're Nirvana bound You won't catch us sitting on the ground (how DO you make a Buddha by meditating, Junior? Don't ask me, Dad. I'm off to polish my mirror) Like Zen Comics, we're Nirvana bound Our Karma is totally sound Like Bodhisattvas firmly rooted in the Vinaya of the Amida Buddha (Oh, sweet Satori!) We're NIR..VAN..AAAAAaaa Bouuuuuuuunnnnnnd! (Hey, are we enlightened yet?) *Whack* (Owwwww! Oh, now I get it!) * - with apologies to the Dharma of Johnny Burke and Jimmy Van Heusen -- Matt Marchese matt@cray.com <URL http://home.cray.com/~matt/> "We drink elixirs that we refine from the juices of the dying" -Shriekback *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~