Article: 288607 of talk.bizarre
From: (Zvi Gilbert)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Devil his Due
Date: 1 Dec 1996 14:12:23 -0500
Organization: kind king light of mind
Lines: 48
Message-ID: <57slan$>
Summary: Excerpt from a novel, perhaps.
Keywords: Copyright 1996 by Zvi Gilbert. No, I MEAN it.

     "--and that was 'The Four Horsemen' with 'Blood, blood, blood,' number 
six on our countdown this week. You're tuned to Ragna-ROCK, your all-
apocalypse station."
     A commercial for some anti-boil medication started. I switched the radio 
off as I pulled the car into a parking space in front of the diner.
     As I shut the door of the car, I could hear thunder booming in the 
distance and a faint sound of shattering. The hail again. Shooting a glance at 
my specifally modified Chevy Nova, I hoped the reinforced roof would hold.
     The waitress was surly. They always are these days. At least she didn't 
try to hide the mark of the Beast on her forehead. 
     "Yeah?" she grunted.
     "Whatdaya got to drink? Anything cool?"
     She snorted and shook her head. "Nope. Just blood. Blood blood blood, 
that's all we got. Y'want some?"
     I shook my head. "Just a couple of burritoes then."
     The burritoes tasted like ash. They always do these days. Lucky I had 
some gum in the car for later to take the aftertaste out of my mouth. 
     "So listen," I said to the waitress, extra-casual. "I'm looking for the 
Devil. You seen him around lately?"
     She stared at me a moment and then laughed bitterly. "You think he'd 
bother with the likes of us? I haven't seen him since the Rapture. That's when 
he gave me this," and her long cracked fingernail indicated the triple-six on 
her forehead. 
     "Do me a favour? If you see him, give me a call." I opened the shiny case 
I keep in my breast pocket and handed her a card. GABRIEL said the card, 
PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS and a phone number below it.
     She looked at me, mouth dropping open. "Oh, G-G-." She couldn't say it.
Her eyes scrunched up like little stones. "Listen, I know who you are and Who 
you're working for. If I help you, you do me a favour?"
     I hated being beholden to the damned. But if it would help me on my 
quest... "I can't promise anything. But I'll see what I can do."
     She leaned over towards me, her breath hot on my face. "It's my family, 
y'see. Ain't seen 'em for years. Since the End.  Lost my two kids then."
     "You want to be united with your family. That's good."
     She barked one syllable of laughter. "I want to give those little shits 
a good walloping. Couldn't even help their old Ma. That's what." She sneered 
and made a spitting motion with her lips. "And I then can deliver you up 
the Devil."
     I raised an eyebrow. Well, maybe. If it was in the Plan, I could swing 
it. "You just hold on to that card and call me if you hear anything." I laid 
down a five on the table (the new five with the picture of Jesse Helms) and 
walked out. 
     Outside it was thundering loud enough to wake the dead.

oh yes, I was a comical priest