Article: 288731 of talk.bizarre
From: (Riaz F Abdulla)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My Dad vs. the Cat (part II)
Date: 2 Dec 1996 21:43:33 GMT
Organization: Purdue University
Lines: 35
Message-ID: <57vii5$>

My Father.

When I came home this Thanksgiving vacation I spied my father chuckling madly
while chasing the cat, Henry, around the house. "Hebe dich ab, du Schlange!" he 
yelled. (He is planning a trip to Argentina and feels it necessary to practice
his Deutch). His eyes were black coals on the verge of ignition.
He grabbed Henry by the hind legs and ran around the dining room table.
"Macht Schnell , meine kleine Wheelbarrow!" he screamed in stentorian tones
as Henry yowled in vain. When he spied me in the doorway, he returned Henry
to the ground. "Weg mit dir, Satan!" he spat at the feline, and verily Henry
fled into his litterbox. 

My father walked casually over to me, and lowering his voice he said,"You 
know, Henry is absolutley crazy! Last week I sat him on my lap just like
a little child. His hindlegs were sticking out, and I held his forlegs in my
hand. He kept struggling to escape so I had to restrain him. He was highly
agitated and writhing piteously! I kept him restrained so that he could not
move a single muscle. Finally he got so pissed off and the strain
was so great that he moved the only muscle he could and shat all over my
lap! Amazing huh?!"

I said nothing. What could I have said? It was a very precarious moment.

He continued: "bloody insolent creature! sumbitch was licking its asshole
continuously for the next three days! Grooming its tail from top to bottom.
Thoroughly uncivilized. It was like watching my Grandfather give himself an

This is a true episode, ending as abrubtly here as it did in real life.

Next: Henry the cat.
To come soon: Armageddon and the food thing I mentioned earlier.