Article: 288739 of talk.bizarre
From: Josh Hayes <>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Signs of the Apocalypse
Date: 02 Dec 1996 15:35:31 -0800
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Lines: 28
Sender: josh@pogo
Message-ID: <>

Now, I have 600 articles to read and someone probably noted this
already. But here it is: the Scam^H^H^H^HChurch of Scientology has
bought the rights to the name "Cult Awareness Network" at auction.

They sued them into bankruptcy, see, and then they bought them. (I
know, some Pentecostal guy filed the suit, but the lawyer was a

When I read this I shook my head and made that "oggle-oggle-oggle"
noise that cartoon characters make, you know? Like when they get their
head between a falling anvil and the ground, and *clang* their head is
anvil shaped for a second, then they shake it around and it reverts to
normal? Like that. Oggle oggle.

What next? American Atheists buying the Christian Coalition? Followers
of Farakhan running the Jewish Defense League?

All this I could take, although my back was bowed with the weight of
it all. And then today I saw, in the record store, a whole rack of
yellow CD covers. Covers that looked vaguely familiar, and then as I
was drawn to them in horrified fascination, like the mouse is drawn to
the snake, like mortals are drawn to Cthulhu, the words on the covers
wrote themselves in fire on my writhing soul: 

	"Mozart For Dummies"

if I had a rocket launcher