Article: 288760 of talk.bizarre
Subject: My Fingers
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Date: Mon, 02 Dec 96 23:41:03 EST
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Richmond Communications
Lines: 47

 The tiny appendages I so quaintly refer to as 'fingers', have something
 they have noticed about the unit they are attached to and they would
 like to share:

 Today, the unit went to a pharmacy to retrieve the film it had put
 in for development on both paper and disc.  On finding only the paper
 prints, with no accompanying disc, the unit gathered the attention of
 the sales unit and explained the error.
 However, it was not the normal unit who explained the situation, but
 a splinter of that unit.  It was not I, the *fingers* as she has been
 know to quaintly refer to us as, but a partitioned part of the unit I
 will call 'The Diplomatic Complainer'.
 This piece of the unit projects an uncasual, unwavering command of
 language and a personable wit to charm other units into submission.
 It does not misuse these powers, or has not to our knowledge, but only
 uses them to right an injustice or for correction of a common error.
 I believe, we believe, if the unit were to operate in only this
 Diplomatic Complainer mode at all times, the unit would be thoroughly
 drained within a sparse amount of time.  However, it has come to our
 attention that when the unit is using this force, all areas of the unit
 are affected.
 We, ourself, have been used by this mode to write letters to various
 other units so that our host unit's wishes are granted.
 This is our formal protest against being used in such a manner.
 If our host unit sees fit to make a correction in the manner other host
 units engage in their businesses or fail to bring her the proper coffee
 she has requested, we will not serve her purposes.....
 Unless she meets our demands:

  #1. No further misuse of the *thumbnail* (Herbert or Michelle) as a
  #2. More moisturizers, more frequently.
  #3. Hangnails must be cut and NOT chewed off, as chewing causes major
      emotional trauma to the surrounding *finger* unit.
  #4. Gloves..."it's not cold enough for gloves" will NOT be tolerated.
  #5. More care to us when pulling out engine parts.  Whole areas of our
      upper plains (knuckles) have been lost to numerous vehicles, this
      will NOT happen again.

  Until these demmands are met, she will have to find some other dupes
  to carry out her plans.


  I would like to say, in my defense