Article: 288771 of talk.bizarre
From: "Candy-Colored Clown" <breitt@interaccess.com>
Newsgroups: chi.personals,talk.bizarre,alt.journalism.gonzo
Subject: New!!  Environmentally Correct Masturbation!!
Date: 3 Dec 1996 04:51:24 GMT
Organization: InterAccess, Chicago's best Internet Service Provider
Lines: 42
Message-ID: <01bbe0d4$ff7b9b80$a44fb7ce@breitt.interaccess.com>

	You hate fur.  You love trees.  You're a vegetarian.  You're Nature's
poster girl for the '90's.  Then why are you still using plastic sex toys? 
Polystyrene vibrators may elicit fabulous orgasms, but the quantity of
factory smoke and assorted industrial pollutants created during
the manufacturing process of these devices is detrimental not only to the
environment, but also to our sexual desires.  Petroleum-based dildos may
be fun for the whole family, but the fish writhing in agony from the
chemical 
runoff are not enjoying themselves.  	
	Well--your friends at AgriGasm have just solved your problems!  On 
January 1, 1997, we will unveil our latest line of natural sexual aids for
today's women--
Organically Grown Vegetable Stimulators!  That's right!  No more batteries!
 No more
pollution!  We will be offering a full array of VegeStim(tm) products to
suit
the individual needs of every woman!  Whether you're looking for a
Reservoir-Tipped Zucchini, a Turnip Tickler, or a Ribbed Artichoke, we'll
have 
the vegetable for you!  Special hybrids, such as the Well-Hung CucuMato
will have you
writhing with ecstasy as you discover new and fascinating ways to pleasure
yourself.  You may have hated asparagus as a kid, but as a full-grown
woman, 
AgriGasm's Hot AsparagAss will have you begging for seconds!  Best of all,
every 
VegeStim product is fully recyclable as fertilizer or mulch!  Mary, MaryŚwe
KNOW 
how YOUR garden grows!  
	Place your order before the holidays and receive 
absolutely free, AgriGasm's companion guide, 'Orgasming The Organic Way,' 
and a copy of the runaway bestseller, 
'Men Can Stay On Mars, Women Can Orgasm From Vegetables!'  
	
AgriGasm--"Once you go veggie, you never go back!"   



-- 


"A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"