Article: 288872 of talk.bizarre
From: (Mark Buda)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Gombril Shamir (40)
Date: 5 Dec 1996 02:14:58 GMT
Organization: Clark Internet Services, Inc., Ellicott City, MD USA
Lines: 26
Message-ID: <585b72$>

Fetch me my chalice of bitter ointments, O fractious coolie, for I am
become debit, destroyer of credit. I will encircle you with my pejorative
emulsifying agents; your prison shall be your freedom. My name will be
remembered forever.

Waft me forward to Paradise on the waving cilia of delight! Spread out the
living carpet of feverish desires, and rejoice. You are not alone, but you
are also not wanted. I give you the sacrament of the itch, and I will take
you into my counsels, and a dominion will be set aside for you, that you
will rule with my blessing. It shall never be shaken from its foundation
until the last day, when I will crush those who have praised me and flatter
those who have despised me. The keys shall be given to those who had
previously only owned stunt tortoises.

Remove the rhododendra and all their foul kin from the windows of my
temple, and shut them up in a bin. They are the enemy. All that is green
must be vanquished. For I am the Gombril Shamir. The plants know me. They
know my mission. And they will stop at nothing.

When the earth is blasted from her foundations, there will I be; when the
chocolate bunny scowls, there will I be. Go now, and do my will among the
goober people, and your name will be remembered forever, except for
occasional holidays.
I get my monkeys for nothing and my chimps for free.