From: Ace Lightning <>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: golf ball headache
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 00:28:38 -0500
Organization: Purple Pentagram Productions
Lines: 41
Message-ID: <>
X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01Gold (Win95; I)

golf ball headache:

(no, it has nothing to do with being hit in the head by a golf ball.)

when you remove the outer covering from a golf ball, you find what looks 
like a mass of rubber bands. the surface will consist of many fragments, 
since the rubber will have adhered to the inside of the shell. but once 
those are cleared away, you will find that the mass of rubber bands is,
fact, one continuous strand of long thin elastic, wound into a spherical 

if you have nothing better to do with your spare time, unwind all that 
elastic. at the center of the golf ball is a somewhat pliable sac that 
seems to be filled with a thick liquid. puncturing this sac reveals a 
viscous, foul-smelling ooze. when i was a child in grade school, we
believed that this liquid was the most toxic substance ever invented,
that the mere sight of it would instantly kill an entire roomful of 
schoolchildren; it's nothing more than a form of liquid latex, though, 
just smells terrible.

what does all this have to do with a headache?

imagine that the long continuous rubber band is wound so tightly that, 
instead of feeling springy and elastic, it feels rigid, taut as bridge 
support cables. that's the tension in the muscles in your neck and 
shoulders and the back of your head.

imagine that the thick, foul liquid latex inside the sac is under 
tremendous overpressure which needs to be relieved. but the sac is so
that it cannot rupture and release the pressure. that's your sinuses.

golf ball headache.