From: (waldby julian f)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: fast bus
Date: 1 Dec 1997 16:43:36 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Lines: 37
Message-ID: <65upfo$pu7$>

December found me on a bus. I was sitting near the back. A guy was making
out with his girlfriend in the front. He kept looking around, apparently
to see if anyone was noticing. I stepped forward to the front and shot
him in the top of the head. A fountain of blood spurted out. I eyed it
hungrily, but this wouldn't be a good time to feed. The girlfriend was
noticing her boyfriend's lack of vigor and screamed as she saw the blood.
I put on my best Death's countenance and calmed her. "It was his time, 
madam." Shouldering my scythe, I asked her, "Now can you tell me the
way to Park Forest Drive? I have a call to make."

I've been discriminated against in the vampire community. A vampire
drinking brain blood is like a wine connoisseur drinking Boone's, they
say. But I know they are all anxious to try it, if only once. I equate
it to a sparkling mountain stream in the Alps.

I arrived at the house I was looking for. Wanting to surprise him, I
decided to go around the back and enter there. Upon reaching the back,
it was to my dismay that I found a heavy sin lock barring the door.
I would have to forego this prospect.

The sin locks were implemented when people decided they wanted to live
in heathenism forevermore. They sprung up everywhere. One or more sins
were required to gain entry. The minor locks involved a curse word.
The locks they used on Fort Knox required seven human sacrifices. When
Jesus came, he found himself unable to get to the people, and the
Final Judgement never came.

Not yet anyways. The work is slow, and this meeting would have promoted
the cause, but I could work around it. Not today, of course - nothing fit
the schedule. A day's rest would be good. Tomorrow I nuke Bethany.

"It was raining in heaven when you went down"