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Date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 11:20:51 -0800
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Subject: Official FAQ: talk.bizarre  (Monthly Posting)
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"Monster Boogers"
 Copyright 1997
R.L. Stine

   Mick stared at the mysterious fluid seeping through the floor-
boards of the old movie theater.
   "Gross!" he said.  "That looks like some kind of snot!"
   Flickering light from the projector reflected off Charlie the 
Brain's round glasses.  He stooped and whipped a popsicle stick 
from his pocket.  
   Squirrel and Heather looked over his shoulder.
   "Hmmm..." Charlie said, as he probed the fluid with the stick.
"Without my portable chemistry set, I can't give you a detailed
chemical breakdown, but..."
   "Just tell us what it is, Brain," Heather said, anxiously.
"We don't need a complete spectrographic analysis."
   Squirrel coughed, which shook the pom-pon of bushy red hair
on the top of his head.  They turned to him.  His eyes were wide
as quarters.  His voice rustled like blowing leaves. 
    "From what I understand, this is the exact spot where they
found old Mr. Kingsley, the projectionist.  The cops figured he
must have been cleaning the glass in front of the projector when
he fell.  When he hit, he broke his neck in nine places.  Twitch-
ing in his death throes, he vomited.  Chunks of half-digested 
pastrami sandwich collided with the shattered bones in his throat.
A few made it past his teeth.  Because he was playing "The Bridges
of Madison County" he wasn't found for a week.  By then many of
the soft tissues in his body had liquified.  Houseflies had laid
their eggs in his eyes and mouth, which were covered with dried 
vomit and bone.  Small white maggots crawled hungrily though the
decaying flesh.  A sickening sweet smell filled the air.  That
was two years ago this very night."
   Mick, Brain and Heather looked at Squirrel for a long, silent
   "You are so gay," said Heather.