From: (Matt Powell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: FTSD:  Soul Jogging
Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1998 23:09:27 -0700
Organization: Eidetus Research Group
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X-Trace: 912578968 27363 (2 Dec 1998 06:09:28 GMT)
NNTP-Posting-Date: 2 Dec 1998 06:09:28 GMT
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My soul hurts a little bit tonight, because earlier someone stepped on 
it.  I thought it was rather inconsiderate of him, and I said so.  It's 
not as if I had my soul jutting out into the aisle or anything.  It was 
comfortably tucked away above my brain and next to my heart and not at 
all in the aisle.  And yet this hulking Philistine stepped on it, in 
cowboy boots no less.  And it hurt. 

When I told him that he had hurt me when he stepped on my soul, he 
frowned a little bit and mumbled an apology.  Pretty suprising behavior, 
I thought.  The sort of man who would boldly walk up to you and lay his 
Stetsons on your psyche was a man who would laugh in your face about it 
afterwards, I had thought.  But apparently I was wrong.

Well, it wasn't as if it was an accident, I said to him.  Why did you do 

He claimed that he had mistaken it for a bug of some kind, hiding behind 
my kidneys.  He said he was only trying to help. 

A bug?  I said.  My soul?  I got out a mirror and angled it around to 
where I could examine it closely, and sure enough, it did look a little 
like a beetle or something.  This came as a bit of a shock to me, 
naturally, as I had always assumed that I had the big healthy soul people 
always talked about.  I wondered if something could be done about it.

I looked at the man and asked him what his name was.  Kelly, he said.  
And what do you do, Kelly?  I'm an X-ray technician, he replied.  
Pondering this, I realized that all I had to do was pay my soul a little 
more attention, and everything would be fine.

So tomorrow, I'm going to start taking my soul out jogging every morning.  
I would have started tonight, but like I said, it's kind of sore.