From: acelightning <acelightning@monmouth.com>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: FTSD - sensory memory
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 1999 01:16:48 +0000
Organization: Monmouth Internet
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Message-ID: <38447700.2B06D11C@monmouth.com>
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sensory memory


i've always been very good at sensory memory. i remember exact shades
of color, the pitch of sounds, the smell of toast and bacon and coffee
in the truck stop at 4:30 am fifteen years ago, that sort of thing.

i have intense and vivid sensory memories of you. i can still feel
what it was like when you held me... the welcoming pressure of your
arms around me, the resilience of your flesh as i hugged you back, the
crunchy roughness of your sweater, the color of your eyes, the sweet
sound of your voice, the shape of your smile, the texture of your
skin, your hair, even the way you smelled and your pheromones.

i summon up that memory a lot.

because there's another vivid memory that keeps coming back to me. i
can still hear the regret in your voice as you told me we just
couldn't do it, and reminded me that it was too great a risk. i
remember what it felt like to keep my tone light as i said "oh, i
understand perfectly, and it's quite all right!" i remember the
sunshine and the busy street scene around us as i walked away, not
looking back at you, forcing myself to walk with jaunty steps and hold
my head up, because i knew how terribly much it would hurt you if you
knew how terribly much it hurt me...

...and now all i have is sensory memory: your voice, your scent, your
eyes, and the way the buttons on your jacket dug into me as we hugged
each other goodbye...