From: "nikolai kingsley" <firstname.lastname@example.org> Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: ftsd. it's a living. Date: Fri, 1 Dec 2000 04:09:02 +1100 Organization: Monash Uni Lines: 50 Message-ID: <email@example.com> X-Trace: towncrier.cc.monash.edu.au 975603686 18642 220.127.116.11 (30 Nov 2000 17:01:26 GMT) X-Complaints-To: firstname.lastname@example.org X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2919.6600 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2919.6600 X-NNTP-Posting-Host: pm2-S18.broadway.net.au "I'm sorry we don't have time to do this properly, but they're going to bolt down the doors in twelve hours and I have to be back, with this finished, before that. Don't worry about trying to sound sinister or anything. We're after clarity. Don't worry about mispronouncing anything; we can edit it later." "So, just read them one after another?" "A subtle pause between them might be a nice touch. Give the editor something to look for when the recording gets chopped up into pieces." "Uh, okay, um, 'Please wait for the system to come on line.' 'System is now on line.' 'System failure. Please call customer service.' 'Searching for standard references.' 'Standard references located, accuracy match dollar-sign F.' Dollar sign?" "Variable name, I guess. In the trash-80 days, we used to call it 'string'." "Whut-evurr. 'Enter target coordinates', 'Confirm target coordinates', 'Launch sequence confirmed', 'Intruder alert on level doll- uh, string J', 'Warning: reactor core breach in string T minutes', 'System is off-line', 'Please enter your registration key', 'Please re-enter your registration key'... ... 'Nevermore', 'Give me a cookie', 'Half moon tonight. Better than no moon at all', 'One of your imps does a great impression of you. He can even do the ears', 'Please replace colour ink cartridge in device X string', 'Warning! Error message unavailable'... ...'Inode has zero dtime', 'I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that', 'Self-destruct sequence confirmed', 'Down, not across', 'Self-destruct in string D', 'Run like fuck'. Is that all of it?" "That's all we need. Thanks." nikolai --- "Two... two... two..." --- hopeless posession the splendour of nightmare sacred infection wholly indelible as pure as my cruelty - shriekback, 'hubris'