Message-ID: <>
From: Julian Waldby <>
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Subject: FTSD4: Endings
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Date: Fri, 01 Dec 2000 19:14:43 -0600
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Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

The evening is almost up, and we must return to our homes soon. However,
I leave you with this last story. A story they don't want you to hear.

Many many years ago, there appeared a cemetery near Oblong, Illinois
(the only Oblong). The people in the area had always known of the
cemetery, and expected it to be around long after they died. There was
no more room in it however, so noone anyone knew was buried there.

One day a young girl, with a morbid fascination was playing among the
gravestones. She was looking at the dates and trying to figure out how
old the people would be if they were alive today. 513 years old here,
497 years there, and she skipped to the next and did the calculation.
398 years old here. That was odd, she thought, that seems much younger
than the others. She skipped on to the next and saw that it was 402
years old here. A cemetery with a hundred years of difference. How
strange. She went back to the earlier ones and checked her math. 413
years old here and 397 years old there. It was different! But she
realized that it had not been her math, but she remembered that the
actual dates were different. The dates had changed by 100 years from the
time when she read them just ten minutes earlier. She ran and told the
people of Oblong, but no one believed her.

Today the graves have opened up and their contents have emerged into the
dark of night. The time was right for them. The global internet spanned
over 100 million hosts, which triggered their coffin release.

These bodies, actually clockwork beasts that resemble humans, have come
to conquer the earth now that it has grown sufficiently advanced.

I am one of them, and you are one of them. We have fake memories, but
our key taps are in accordance with the big plan. We are united in our
goal to have total global domination by the year 2010.

I am building something in my garage. I'm not sure what it is, but it
looks like one of the thrusters on the space shuttle. I imagine it goes
with whatever you're building too.

We're not talking about some trophy girl draped all over a car