Message-ID: <3A2847FE.1CC97905@uiuc.edu> From: Julian Waldby <waldby@uiuc.edu> X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.75 [en]C-CCK-MCD (Win98; U) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: FTSD2: Rocking Horse Lines: 121 Date: Fri, 01 Dec 2000 18:53:18 -0600 X-Complaints-To: abuse@uiuc.edu X-Trace: vixen.cso.uiuc.edu 975718356 130.126.26.46 (Fri, 01 Dec 2000 18:52:36 CST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 01 Dec 2000 18:52:36 CST Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign 23 Oct 1856 The Beatles play Egypt. 12 Nov 1856 A previously unseen virus breaks out in Africa. The victims bleed from the eyes and the mouth, and grow worms which sinew throughout their flesh. The entire continent is in terror. 12 Jan 1861 The Beatles play New York City and begin a tour across America 14 Apr 1861 Civil War breaks out in the United States. 07 Feb 2005 I was at home, making a special Valentine's Day card for my sweetheart. I was running through the clip art, searching for something inspirational, when I came across it. There it was, the horse. I looked at it closely, and turned it on its side. Then it looked like Eric Clapton's face in his "Princess Leia" mouthgear. I ran the magnification, turning the image and isolating locations and saw that the various images were preserved down to about 17X magnification - the trainwreck, the blind man, the boxcar dice, the pope, the "playing dead" opossum, and so on, all the way down to the gold bug. The next smaller image, the stiletto was not readily visible. It was back. I had worked 80-hour weeks in 2001 chasing down the implications of the horse, visible on the George Harrison CD, "The Best of Dark Horse". I had been able to connect it to AIDS, the ebola virus, and the resurgence of leprosy. And now it was back, in Clip Art of all places. Probably people all over the world were sending messages with that innocent looking horse. I looked for a number to call, desperately. Hopefully it was not too late. I found it. A UK number. I rung up the number. "Hello. Ringo Starr here." "Hello, this is Sergeant Getapiss. I am a detective with the Chicago Police Department." "Ah, yes, I know you. You're the one that got Harrison's CD taken out of print." "Yes, that was me." "We were anticipating your call." "This is a very serious matter. The Harrison horse is illegal material. You must pull it at once, or I will..." "You will what? It's too late, Detective Getapiss. I trust you've found the other hazardous images in the clip art we distributed?" "Uh, yeah," I bluffed. "This is a very serious matter." "I trust you enjoyed the vintage Prosche image. It has been shown to cause the explosion of the stomach in 8 out of 10 viewers when taken in by the subconscious." "What do you want? Why do you and your group keep torturing people?" "That's an interesting question. When it started, it was just a hobby of ours. McCartney thought it up one evening and asked the rest of us if it was possible. We soon demonstrated that it was extremely effective. But now, we do it to avenge John Lennon's death. The world is not ready for us, and we intend to get it sorted. "Sorted, huh? You don't know who you're dealing with. I will find you, and make you pay. I advise you to recall all your current distribution if you want to avoid the death penalty." "Thank you for your call, Detective Getapiss." 28 Feb 2005 I am being kept alive by a number of machines. Both my lungs have collapsed, and I am bleeding profusely through the mouth. My kidneys no longer function, and my spleen is an aching ball of pain. My hands and legs are purple from blood clot and will need to be amputated. I will not last much longer. No one will listen to me when I try to warn them about the clip art. My psychologist says, "the clip art, the clip art, you are always talking about the clip art, hmm?" The secret to the images is that you have to resolve them. If you just see the top image, and perhaps even see the secondary image, you are in for a world of hurt. I must have viewed the images at a glance. For the horse, at least, I know that one has to see the seventh image to activate the "antidote" in the mind. And in this, I perish. 13 Apr 2005 Bill Gates lands a big deal with a software firm, who agree to provide word processing, spreadsheet, mathematical programs, and...clip art for the release of Windows '06. 03 Aug 2005 - 22 Dec 2005 Over 97% of the world's population dies in an explosion of freak epidemics. The deaths are gruesome and horrid, and the world is in panic. Nations blame other nations for releasing biological weapons, but nothing can be proven. The world goes down fighting, and goes down to a new dark age. 2984 AD A new branch of monks rises up proclaiming the evidence of a band of saviors who came to rescue the world. They talk of their return again sometime in the future. They advance widespread distribution of the saviors' music on CD. These messiahs of an ancient time are known as the Beatles. Julian -- We're not talking about some trophy girl draped all over a car