a christmas recipe

From:Sean Barrett
Subject:a christmas recipe
Organization:Fraternity of Avian Deists

	1 PC with modem
     or 1 terminal
	1 USENET-postable account

	4 cups of insomnia
     or Caffeine to taste

	A twisted sense of imagery
	Creative problem-solving ability [optional]

	To begin, precompute the sine and cosine of all angles
of integral degree (to warm up the computer).  Figure out some
distinct starting image, and write it down.  At this point, if
you're not using the problem-solving ability, you need to plan
out the whole thing to make sure it hangs together, instead of
making it up as you go along.  From here on in I'll assume you
are using the creative problem-solving ability--otherwise just
plan ahead as necessary.
	Come up with some basic device which will lend another
layer of interest to the writing.  Try to relate the structure
to the content, or vice versa.  It is very important to keep a
distinctive style--mine is made up in large parts by misguided
metaphors, excessive alliteration, and imperfect puns, but you
should invent your own.  As you write, hunt for a punchline or
purpose or goal.  The ending should either have a twist, refer
to the beginning, or complete some sort of cycle.  With all of
these restrictions, the problem-solving ability can be used to
meet all the restrictions and still maintain some semblence of
order, although it may not be totally coherent.  However, this
is not necessarily bad.  People have differing tastes.
	It may happen that several lines in a row will all end
with aligned right margins.  If this happens, you might try to
continue the pattern, especially if you're using that problem-
solving ability.  It is considered cheating, though, if you do
this by misspelling, omitting spaces or adding extras, through
hyphenation in an otherwise unhyphenated creation or by adding
words that disrupt the natural flow of meaning in the writing.
Ending *every* line, even the final line of paragraphs, in the
same column is not something you should attempt at home.  Some
trained professionals do it daily, but the danger is enormous.
	Sometimes you may find yourself down a dead-end, where
you cannot continue from.  This is a good time to make a break
in the writing, a dramatic change.  Trust your problem-solving
ability to allow the two to be tied back together.  Never ever
erase things you've already written down.
	Finally, proofread and make sure it all hangs together
in some way.  Fix grammatical and spelling errors; problems in
mechanics can mar an otherwise good creation.

	Makes at least twelve talk.bizarre postings.

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